Friday, October 15, 2010

Real Craigslist Flake Email String

As many of you know, I am selling a lot of stuff lately to enable a move to San Francisco. Here is the best response I have had to the listing of my car...

This is a real email string from Craigslist. In his signature he has ” Stanford Graduate School of Business | MBA Class of 2011”

Crisp***: $10,000 cash today

Tim: No

Crisp***: OK. You’re a very smart business person. Good luck!

Tim: You must be too. Good luck with your low-balling.

Crisp***: Well, the market is biased towards me. I have the cash. I can do many things with the cash, you can only keep your car and see its value erode. It’s not low-balling, it’s offering the fair market value of your car, not your aspirational price. In any event, you have no other choice but to come down in price or eat the depreciation of your car. Best of luck with either option!

Tim: Your antics are quite amusing. I already have a cash offer for 11,250 and I have two more people looking at the car Sunday and Monday.

I think you need to find a better business school. Obviously you are wasting your money at Stanford.

Crisp***: Well, it doesn’t get better than #1.

Hope you understand that. In any event, best of luck! Hope you find a full price buyer.

P.S. Please take the well wishes and don’t reply.

Tim: Then I suggest paying more attention in class. You come off as an arrogant POS.

Crisp***: Perhaps I got dragged trying to match your tone. Can we just drop it? I’m sure we’re both busy enough and not deriving value from these interactions. Have a nice life and good luck!

Tim: My tone? I'm just saying you are wasting your money at Stanford since you obviously aren't learning much. I suggest the following classes for you:

Tact 101

Negotiation for dummies

Deal Closing for idiots

Make sure to pay attantion during these. You might learn something.

Crisp***: Please let me know what I need to give you to just disappear? Hopefully you’ll take the hint and leave me alone since explicitly indicating that didn’t seem to work.

Tim: No, no. This is way too fun. Actually, I am going to publish our email string on Facebook. Guys like you define "Craigslist Flakes." Do I have permission to use your name or do you want me to censor it. I think it would be funny. We can let people vote on it to see who was out of line!!! That sounds fun right?!?!?

Let me know because this is a gem of a story.

Crisp***: Sure, you can do as you see fit. If you use my name though, there will be repercussions. It’s sad that you consider this to be fun when I just want you to go away. Get a life – or just leave me alone.

Tim: So I have legal permission or not? I think there is some legal mumbo jumbo about that kind of thing.

Crisp***: You do not have my permission. Then again, I gather that you’re not the type of person who cares about these things. Can you please just leave me alone? Or do I have to start doing something to keep you away?

Tim: Nope. All done. Thank you for providing me entertainment for this afternoon.

P.S. Do not reply. Facebook only allows so many words in their notes.